Ebbs and Flows

I have been called out…

I went down to Mpigi to see the Peace Portal team a week ago and I was told that more than one person back home asked them to get on my case about the significant lack of blog posts.

Guilty…and the more time that goes by, the harder it is to be motivated to document my life; but I do recognize the importance of staying connected with the people that love and support me so, again, I am sorry.

The update:

I am still in the same 2 bedroom apartment (the “temporary” place that I moved into 9 months ago) that I share with Emily, Erika and Em’s foster daughter. There have been some major frustrations and I have experienced a wide range of emotions along the way, for sure, but I have loved aspects of it as well. For instance, Erika and I share a room and it’s kind of like a perpetual sleepover. She’s back in the States right now and I miss her dearly… In the midst of it, I feel I am getting closer and closer to really understanding the meaning of grace in the context of my interpersonal relationships and that, I suppose, is a gift. The new apartment is not out of the picture yet, it’s just…arg. That’s really all I can say about that…

We got a cat, her name is Molly.

There was a rally tournament in Jinja one weekend a while back. I am a fan of rally cars so I went to check it out…there were some safety precautions in place but we were still close enough to risk getting sprayed with sand and stones…it was fantastic.

The Agriculture Fair came again this summer. I didn’t hold a snake and go on sketchy spinning metal swings this year because it was too insanely crowded and we didn’t stay long, but I did witness the ring of death… Click here… 

My dear friend, Cheryl Butler, came to see me and spent a week and a half fully immersed in my world. It was lovely. Whatever she tells you about what she saw and experienced in regards to me and my crazy friends, don’t believe her, none of it is true…we are all well behaved, mild mannered “missionaries” who only say the kindest of things and spend our evenings playing Bibliopoly and drinking Shirley Temples. 

Cheryl and I went to Mpigi to see the Peace Portal team. If you read about my trip to Mpigi last year, you’ll be happy to know that traveling to and from was much more straight forward this time around and didn’t involve multiple pickpocket attempts and being tailed down a dark alleyway…ok, the latter may or may not have just been my imagination but it was a creepy alleyway and I did feel like a chicken on a spit in a den of hungry lions. The team came up to Jinja the day before heading home and we all had the chance to have a nice dinner and go on a wee float down The Nile together. They also took the time to visit Ekisa and it was a joy to show them around. I cannot stress enough how incredibly nice it is when I get to share this home with friends and family and this year I’ve had many an opportunity.   

The mental health update:

I have talked before about the nature of living here being one of extremes…things are either really great or really hard; death, corruption and cultural complexities all play a role in the latter. I have always been an “ebbs and flows” kind of gal and living in Uganda has been no exception. Sometimes I feel like I’m coping well and other times I do a poor job of it. Bitterness and cynicism are huge traps that everyone here struggles to stay clear of and it is extremely hard to not get ensnared. Last month was one of those months where patience and joy were far from flowing and my enthusiasm for being here was ebbing away; to be honest, it was the first time I had ever really thought about throwing in the towel. I daydreamed about moving back, getting a “normal” job and not having to worry about getting cheated or hurt or knowing when or when not to help someone and never witnessing the death of another child. My pride would have never allowed that, of course, but that doesn’t stop me from wallowing in a deep chasm of self pity. If it wasn’t for my faith and my family here (my friends, young and old), I don’t think I could manage. I am very fortunate to have people around me that know me and understand me and understand the struggles that we all go through and for that I am eternally grateful.

The good news is that God always steps in when I’m at the end of my rope and I feel like this time, He gave me an extra dose of grace…like a shot of holy espresso. Patience renewed, joy restored, I have been reminded why I am here. I have to choose though, everyday, to keep an attitude of joy and of love. My faithful Savior stepped in with a leg up, but I know what is required of me, I just don’t always own up to it. I sometimes think that when I “grow up”, I will be steadier, more grounded, but I think it may be time to admit that I will always struggle, I will always be drawn to that place where I am the centre of my own tragic universe. I am not unique and, I suppose, there is comfort in that.

So, in conclusion, I am alive and I am well and I have much to look forward to: a month from now, I will be on a plane heading out on an adventure with 4 of my most dear friends. My next post will likely be all about it…

A couple pictures of beautiful Uganda for your viewing pleasure...

Oh, The Shame

The title of this post reflects how I feel about how long it’s been since my last entry. The longer I live here, the less I feel it necessary to chronicle my life; in the way that it would never occur to me to write a blog post about my day to day back in Canada. That being said, I shall now try and sum up the last couple months of my life without boring anyone too much.

I have been learning a lot lately about what it means to let things go. I don’t have a problem with change, where I struggle is when I have an idea (or an ideal) in my head that doesn’t pan out the way I anticipated…”But, but, that’s not how it was supposed to be!!!!” Example A: We (myself and 3 other friends; two of which I am currently snuggled into a 2 bedroom place with) have been waiting for an apartment complex to be completed with the intention of moving in. We were told it would be done in October, the November, then December…you get the idea. My roommate and I have paint colors picked, cushion colors picked, the whole place planned out (I even purchased curtains and decorative pillows while at home) with the intention of moving in when I returned from Canada. That did not happen…I have had to let go. Side note: We should find out today whether we can move in soon or if he is completely screwing us over and giving it to someone else.

That is just one example, but the point is, I am learning…

Besides that distraction, the last couple months have been pretty great…a definite highlight being the arrival of my dear sister, Dana. She came and spent 2 weeks with me splitting time between seeing the sights and just being a fly on the wall, experiencing what an ordinary day is for me…and believe me, there are some pretty intense things we have to deal with but for the most part, my days are pretty ordinary. She was able to meet the kids, sit in on a meeting or two, get to know my friends and see the best of what Jinja has to offer. And then, of course, we just had to go on safari. J

The last time I went, it was to Murchison but this time, we went to Queen Elizabeth. We did a three day safari that included a day of driving, then safari day (a drive and a boat cruise) and then a day of travelling back. One of the great parts of this safari was that there were five of us (Dana and I, and three other friends) and we had the van to ourselves. Don’t get me wrong, I love meeting people while I travel, but this was kind of a treat.

The morning of our safari drive, we headed out with our guide, Assuman (whom we nicknamed Awesome Man), to try and track down the big 5. The day started out rather disappointing and to be honest, I was getting a little worried; especially as I was the one who planned the trip and felt a responsibility towards everyone, as though I had the slightest control over what animals we see. We really hadn’t seen much of all when we pulled into a rest area on the outskirts of a crater of some sorts. Assuman stepped out of the vehicle but before we could even get our things together he hopped back in and rattled off something excitably about there being “something there” and left the crater in a cloud of dust. We flew across the rutted, dirt pathways slowing down just to pass other safari vehicles whose drivers waved us on although time was running out. We arrived at the spot full of excited energy and pulled in beside a bunch of other vehicles. Our excitement quickly dwindled as we realized the lions were a fair bit away and we could just make out the top ridges of their bodies in the grass. Although disappointed, I would have gone home somewhat satisfied with the sighting but our guide had other things in mind. After a while, we looked at each other, shrugged our shoulders and went to find Assuman, who was busy chatting with the other guides. To our surprise, despite regulations and the risk of a fine, he insinuated that we should wait a bit till people leave and go in a bit closer. So, we waited for a bit until he came rushing over, his intentions unmistakable. We all piled in and could hardly contain our excitement as we headed into the bush. Then we saw them…first a couple females and then a male and a female who laid there nonchalantly while we parked hardly 10 feet away and just stared. Not more than a minute went by before we had to continue on but I honestly will not forget that experience for as long as I live. We were all pumped full of adrenaline after that and could not stop talking about it for the rest of the day. Even though we saw multiple hippos, buffalo and even elephants on the boat cruise, it was still the highlight. The only thing that came close was when, on the way back from the boat cruise, we had to stop and let a whole herd of elephants cross the road in front of us.

All in all, the trip couldn’t have been more of a success and it was made even more special by having my sister right there alongside me.

There are probably more things I could share but I filled nearly two pages and it is time to end.

Watch the safari slideshow here.        

Furry Fruit

A week or so after we got back from safari, Alicia, Keanne, Erika, Brecklyn and myself went to a place called The Hairy Lemon. It’s a beautiful little island about 1 ½ hours journey from Jinja (not too close, not too far for some time away). It was a bit of a whirlwind trip as we left on a Monday morning and came back the following afternoon, but it was still long enough to enjoy the peace and quiet. Not only was it extremely relaxing, we were also able to spend some time swimming in the Nile and had the pleasure of sharing the island with a couple British guys who had us laughing late into the night while we hung out and played random games.

The current was really strong in the river which made it really hard to just relax so Erika and I had the great idea to walk up river and ride the current back to where we were stationed on the beach. This turned into an absolute fail as we both underestimated the depth of the water and spent a good 30 seconds caught in the current getting pulverised by rocks. I’m sure Erika looked graceful and poised throughout the entire ordeal, I on the other hand probably looked as helpless and desperate as I felt, floundering and gasping while I tried to get my feet back underneath me.

Tuesday morning, we were woken up by monkeys using our tin roof as a trampoline and spent the day lounging, reading, swimming and just generally soaking up the beauty of the place. 

Because of a connection we have with one of the local rafting companies, we were able to get a ride to and from the island on one of their big trucks as the stopping point is a short walk from where the canoe drops us on the mainland. Shortly after we arrived, a huge storm blew in and though we were under cover, all of us (the rafters and staff included) had to take cover in the kitchen as the wind was blasting the rain in on us and blowing everyone’s salads off their plates. It caused a delay and when we did head back, the dirt roads had us sliding every which way, but it made for some good entertainment.

Other interesting facts about this island? Lots of wildlife. Although they’re around, I have seen maybe 1 or 2 live snakes in Jinja in the whole 20 or so months I’ve lived here. On the island? 2 in the course of 24 hours. And not just any old snakes…very poisonous ones. We also saw a monitor lizard, but they’re just plain cool.     

Taking the short canoe ride to the island (yes, my elbow is in the picture, the redo was blurry)

The path to our cottage

If you look closely, you can see the head of a rather large snake directly to the right of tip of the grassy area. 

The green mamba that slithered out of the water...

The "swimming hole"

It's a giant glowing starfish! Nope, just me. :-)